the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize