i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize