i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
