Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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