Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
