Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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