Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
