I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
