Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
