What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
