I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
