don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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