Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
