The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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