You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
