Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
