im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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