i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
