somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I faked an abortion last night.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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