My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
