So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
