the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
