So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
