If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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