sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
