she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
