i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
