It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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