Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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