its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
