She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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