She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
