allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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