Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
