I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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