fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What happened to fro yo and sex?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
