if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
