Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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