Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
