I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
