How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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