It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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