Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
