If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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