saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
