Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
