Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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