Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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