trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
operation harelip BJ is a go
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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