Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
