I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Randomize
