May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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