Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
