The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
