i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
