I think I died a long time ago.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
