Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
